בס"ד

Ki-Tetse Chinuch or Henek?

Dr Mori Bank

A Guten Erev Shabbos Kol Am Yisrael. This weeks parsha, Ki-Tetse, is all about chinuch really. Chinuch from a Father and a Mother for a child, chinuch of H for Am Yisrael in this world, and really, the examples we set, continue for infinity, through all the generations that come from us. How do we educate our children? If we don’t , according to Rashi, tech our children lashon hakodesh, and Torah, it is as though we did henek on them. Rashi says the blood is on your hands. You murdered your own child if you didn’t teach him Torah and lashon hakodesh.

So we see the parsha starts off

י כִּי-תֵצֵא לַמִּלְחָמָה, עַל-אֹיְבֶיךָ; וּנְתָנוֹ יְהוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ, בְּיָדֶךָ--וְשָׁבִיתָ שִׁבְיוֹ

10 When you go out to war against your enemies, and H’ your G-d delivers them into your hands, and you carry them away captive.

So the meforshim ask, what is this war? That when you go out to war against your enemies, what is this war? The war against the yetzer hora – this is the real war. When a person gets up in the morning, he sets out to go pray, the second he sets out, there is a war. He shouldn’t think for a moment of his life that there is a peace treaty with the yetzer hora. The yetzer hora gets him in the most exotic ways. But H does not set a test before any man that cannot be passed. Its like a terminal itself, except that before the make is the refuah. Sometimes its a physical medicine. Sometimes its a spiritual medicine. If a person doesn’t take a physical medicine he is not going to make it, most times. For sure, if a person doesn’t appreciate a spiritual medicine, H Rofe kol Basar Ha’Adam. If he doesn’t understand that H is his rofe, not that basar ve’dam doctor that eh goes to, that the best the doctor can be is a good shaliach, and the worst he can be is a murderer. That he can bury a person. It may be in the world to come they can come back to him, but in this world there may be no recourse.

So we see in this week’s parsha, 10 When you go out to war against your enemies, and H’ your G-d delivers them into your hands, and you carry them away captive.

You haven’t annihilated your Yetzer Hora. You have just caused it to surrender temporarily. Then the next challenge comes up. So really, this parsha is having a future vision. Seeing that in the initial steps in this battle comes the consideration of what will be. If a person doesn’t deal with his yetzer hora correctly, i.e. no prisoners. Do not take the yetzer hora lightly. Do not negotiate with it. Do not surrender to it at all costs. As Churchill said in World War 2, we’ll fight them in the valleys, we’ll fight them on the hills, we’ll fight them in the cities, in the fields, wherever we find them we’ll fight them, but we will never surrender. That was an inspiration that somehow pushed the free world to fight with all its might against the forces of darkness in this generation. Tragically in our generation we don’t see the enemy so clearly. The real message is, no captives and no surrender. We will fight at all costs, under any conditions with all our might, bechol levavcha, bechol nafshecha ubechol meodecha. With all your might, all your heart and all your resources. This is the war that H wants of us. We are all in the army now. H’s army.

So we see it described, and it goes on and it says,

יא וְרָאִיתָ, בַּשִּׁבְיָה, אֵשֶׁת, יְפַת-תֹּאַר; וְחָשַׁקְתָּ בָהּ, וְלָקַחְתָּ לְךָ לְאִשָּׁה.

11. And you will see amongst this captivity, a woman who is beautiful of form, and you will desire her. And you may take her unto yourself for a wife.

Rashi describes something amazing. The captivity of the woman remains in the home of the captive for a period of a month, during which state of mourning and general dishevelment, it’ll make her unattractive so that he will totally lose interest and set her free.

יג וְהֵסִירָה אֶת-שִׂמְלַת שִׁבְיָהּ מֵעָלֶיהָ, וְיָשְׁבָה בְּבֵיתֶךָ, וּבָכְתָה אֶת-אָבִיהָ וְאֶת-אִמָּהּ, יֶרַח יָמִים; וְאַחַר כֵּן תָּבוֹא אֵלֶיהָ, וּבְעַלְתָּהּ, וְהָיְתָה לְךָ, לְאִשָּׁה.

It says here, the garments of her captivity. It was customary for gentile women in times of war to wear the finest, most seductive clothing in order to entice their captives not to murder them. Do your hear that? The women would davka make themselves up like they were going to a Royal Banquet so that the soldiers that captured them would desire them, save them and keep them for themselves. This was the only hope they had. The real tragedy is that the soldier of H’ should be tempted by anything. Not a shoe lace, not a gold coin, certainly not the yetzer hora.

So it says, in this passage the Torah responds to the often inflamed passion of the soldier in battle. We should not, we are all soldiers in battle. There is not one of us in this world that has conquered the yetzer hora while alive in this world. The yetzer hora is constantly knocking at the door. Constantly trying to creep around through the windows. Constantly trying to confuse us. As we grow and as we mature in our secular knowledge and Torah knowledge, so does the yetzer hora grow. That we think the Gadol HaDor has no yetzer hora. His agonies are infinitely greater than ours. He is speaking out on behalf of a generation. The difference between life and death of the generation is in a millisecond or just one word of difference, between saving the generation and losing the generation. So we have to contemplate that for everybody at his level, H is giving him constant challenges. According to the effort, so is the reward. So if some poor soul thinks that the best thing in life is sit in the Bohamas, on a folding chair, under a palm tree, with coconut and penacolada in one hand and in the other an apparition that Hakadosh B”H has created for him, so he is surely destined to be destroyed. If, on the other hand, his real vision is to rush with all his might to the beis medrash to recharge his mind and his neshama, with all the koach and the kedusha of Torah, the likelihood of his surviving his Yetzer Hora or that beautiful form of a woman on the outside that may be full of the aids virus. It is very good, tohoros hamishpacha, nidda. It is assur, it says in this weeks parsha, not to make daughter of Israel a prostitute, for the men to behave like dogs, all this is absolutely forbidden. Behaving in a way that is not exemplary. On the kodesh hakodashim, the most holy day, the most holy time of the day, reading the parsha of the Tora on Yom Kippur, we go through all the forbidden relationships. Going through the list one goes, ugh, my Aunt, my grandmother, my mother, these are impossible things. And then it says in a whisper, niddah. Forbidden. All these things, for a guy not to be practicing taharas hamishpacha, is to invite his soul to be destroyed.

So really, when we see these battles, they continue every second, a person can look up and see a beautiful form. Its what goes through his heart and what goes through his mind that second. Does he see something that is hefker, or something that carries the death penalty if he takes one step forward? It could be somebody else’s wife. It could be his total demise. It could be a gentile idolatrice. It could be somebody that creates for him, as it says in this parsha, tragedy or eternity. He sees a woman in beautiful form amongst the enemy captives and feels an uncontrollable desire for her. The Torah recognizes that he may not even be able to control himself. Rather than enlist the sin creating further spiritual destruction, the Torah provides an avenue for the lustful soldiers to reduce their lusting so that it would cool off before it causes any more harm. The Sages describe it as “lo dibra Torah ella, neged yetzer hora”. The Tora spoke only in response to the Yetzer Hora. That is according to the simple pshat. Rashi says, and Rambam, that the soldier may not molest the woman. He is permitted to put her through the process described below.

יב וַהֲבֵאתָהּ, אֶל-תּוֹךְ בֵּיתֶךָ; וְגִלְּחָה, אֶת-רֹאשָׁהּ, וְעָשְׂתָה, אֶת-צִפָּרְנֶיהָ.

For a month she is not allowed to cut her fingernails. They grow long and dirty. She has to have those beautiful golden locks of hair that were glistening in the sun, shawn.

יג וְהֵסִירָה אֶת-שִׂמְלַת שִׁבְיָהּ מֵעָלֶיהָ, וְיָשְׁבָה בְּבֵיתֶךָ, וּבָכְתָה אֶת-אָבִיהָ וְאֶת-אִמָּהּ, יֶרַח יָמִים; וְאַחַר כֵּן תָּבוֹא אֵלֶיהָ, וּבְעַלְתָּהּ, וְהָיְתָה לְךָ, לְאִשָּׁה.

She has to mourn for her parents who perished in the war if it was an ir hanidachas, or whether she lost them and will never see them again. She has to spend 30 days crying, squealing and kvetching. In those 30 days, if his yetzer hora wasn’t subdued, he becomes a victim to it, as we’ll see. After which, he may marry her. Even against her wishes. Since she knows, and he knows that she will become permitted to him later, he is prepared to wait those 30 days counting every day as though he is about to receive a great blessing. But in fact he is counting the days of his demise.

Rather than sin, it is better he should see her in disgraceful, disheveled, unpleasant, most unappealing way. After 30 days of their screaming, crying, howling and kvetching, and looking terrible, he should be able to subdue his yetzer hora and say, enough already. Get her out of here. The Torah commands she shall remove the garments of her captivity from upon herself, sit in your house and she will weep for her father and her mother for a full month. Thereafter, you may come to her and live with her. And she will be a wife unto you.

יד וְהָיָה אִם-לֹא חָפַצְתָּ בָּהּ, וְשִׁלַּחְתָּהּ לְנַפְשָׁהּ, וּמָכֹר לֹא-תִמְכְּרֶנָּה, בַּכָּסֶף; לֹא-תִתְעַמֵּר בָּהּ, תַּחַת אֲשֶׁר עִנִּיתָהּ.  {ס}

But if it will be that you do not desire her any more you shall send her on her way. You may not sell her for money. You shall not enslave her. Because you have afflicted her. Do you feel it? Not for gain. Don’t negotiate with the yetzer hora. No prisoners and no surrender. H knows before the act that even if a man is too week, eventually he will get to hate her, because what he lusted for was the physical exterior. Inside it was ratuv, rotten or empty. He has nothing to say to her. How long can such a relationship go with a beauty queen. All you see is the exterior. How many chocolate candies can a person eat before they want to vomit. Even more frightening, if one could imagine, that the beautiful exterior is the illusion of the angel of death. That beautiful young girl has got the aids virus. His death sentence will come within a few months or a few years. When eventually he finds a sweet woman that he is interested in, he is diagnosed with the aids virus. Nobody in the world will touch him because he is a walking death sentence. In our generation, things are not that simple.

The greatest thing a person can do, as soon as he is strong enough in Torah, is to go to a Chuppah and maasim tovim. For every moment he is wasting it is a tragedy for him and his house.

According to our Sages, he is permitted to live with her once even before she goes through the process of degradation. After that he may not live with her again before she has completed the lengthy process as described in maseches Kiddushin (22a). According to all interpretations, the purpose of this long delay is so that the captor’s desire will eventually go down, and in the interim he will grow sick of her, and set her free.

So, we have to ask on these 3 pesukim at the beginning of parshas kitetse, what is there to be learnt?

טו כִּי-תִהְיֶיןָ לְאִישׁ שְׁתֵּי נָשִׁים, הָאַחַת אֲהוּבָה וְהָאַחַת שְׂנוּאָה, וְיָלְדוּ-לוֹ בָנִים, הָאֲהוּבָה וְהַשְּׂנוּאָה; וְהָיָה הַבֵּן הַבְּכֹר, לַשְּׂנִיאָה

If a man has 2 wives, (s we saw in the previous sentence) and eventually he got to hate her, he can’t get rid of this woman. He had her for pleasure, and the other for children. And they bear him sons. The beloved one and the hated one both give him sons. Thie first born is from the hated one. From the woman for whom he only had physical desires. The second one that he married is a real eshes chayil, a real tzadekes. He has real regret. The other woman doesn’t understand him, she doesn’t treasure his flesh, she is an alien form. Somebody who doesn’t understand his ways, he is not interesting to her. He doesn’t understand her ways and they are forbidden to him. Eventually he gets to regret, to hate and resent not only the woman but also the offspring that come from her.

טז וְהָיָה, בְּיוֹם הַנְחִילוֹ אֶת-בָּנָיו, אֵת אֲשֶׁר-יִהְיֶה, לוֹ--לֹא יוּכַל, לְבַכֵּר אֶת-בֶּן-הָאֲהוּבָה, עַל-פְּנֵי בֶן-הַשְּׂנוּאָה, הַבְּכֹר.

And it shall be on that day when he causes his sons to inherit all that is his, he cannot give to the son of the beloved one instead of the firstborn, the son of the hated one.

יז כִּי אֶת-הַבְּכֹר בֶּן-הַשְּׂנוּאָה יַכִּיר, לָתֶת לוֹ פִּי שְׁנַיִם, בְּכֹל אֲשֶׁר-יִמָּצֵא, לוֹ:  כִּי-הוּא רֵאשִׁית אֹנוֹ, לוֹ מִשְׁפַּט הַבְּכֹרָה. 

17 but he shall acknowledge the first-born, the son of the hated wife, by giving him a double portion of all that he has in the world; for he is the first-fruits of his strength, the right of the first-born is his.

Terrifying. He has to give a double portion, the birth right, to the hated son. What will become of the hated son? Stick around. The Torah says

יח כִּי-יִהְיֶה לְאִישׁ, בֵּן סוֹרֵר וּמוֹרֶה--אֵינֶנּוּ שֹׁמֵעַ, בְּקוֹל אָבִיו וּבְקוֹל אִמּוֹ; וְיִסְּרוּ אֹתוֹ, וְלֹא יִשְׁמַע אֲלֵיהֶם.

18 If a man has a wayward and rebellious son, that will not listen to the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and though they discipline him, he still will not listen to them;

יט וְתָפְשׂוּ בוֹ, אָבִיו וְאִמּוֹ; וְהוֹצִיאוּ אֹתוֹ אֶל-זִקְנֵי עִירוֹ, וְאֶל-שַׁעַר מְקֹמוֹ.

19 Then his father and his mother take hold of him, and bring him out to the elders of his city, (the judges, the elders), and to the gate of his place;

כ וְאָמְרוּ אֶל-זִקְנֵי עִירוֹ, בְּנֵנוּ זֶה סוֹרֵר וּמֹרֶה--אֵינֶנּוּ שֹׁמֵעַ, בְּקֹלֵנוּ; זוֹלֵל, וְסֹבֵא

20 and they shall say to the elders of his city: 'This our son is wayward and rebellious, he does not listen to our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.'

כא וּרְגָמֻהוּ כָּל-אַנְשֵׁי עִירוֹ בָאֲבָנִים, וָמֵת, וּבִעַרְתָּ הָרָע, מִקִּרְבֶּךָ; וְכָל-יִשְׂרָאֵל, יִשְׁמְעוּ וְיִרָאוּ.

21 And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die; so shall you remove the evil from your midst; and all of Israel will hear about it, and they shall surely fear.

So we see from this, the Sages say, what is the connection between the first two pesukim and the rest? They are in themselves implicit warning against the kind of relationship discussed at the beginning of the parsha. For, after giving the laws of the captive woman, the Torah then speaks about a hated wife and then about a rebellious son. The implication is that this is a chain reaction. A domino effect, so to speak. This improper lusting for the captive gentile woman, will lead to one family tragedy after another, according to Rashi.

There is a legendary story of a family in South Africa who went to the Rabbi, who was our Rabbi at the time, Rabbi Ferman, and they cried bitterly and desperately to the Rabbi. They said, Rabbi, undeard of. My son wants to marry a gentile woman. In our community it is considered a tragedy where the parents say kaddish for the child, as though the son had died. They cried bitterly. Rabbi Ferman asked them a few questions.

Tell me, do you have mezuzas in your home?

Yes of course, on the front door.

Do you keep kosher?

Yes of course. At home. We don’t mix meat and milk.

Do you keep Shabbos?

Oh Rabbi, we love Shabbos. We love driving to shul on Shabbos. Of course we light Shabbos candles and then we go out.

How about Chinuch? Did you give your son chinuch?

Rabbi, everyone gives his son chinuch. Er, Jewish Education, until Bar mitzvah. Then we let him run free.

Did you give him any Jewish books?

Yeh- On his Bar Mitzva I think he got a Chumash, and a siddur. And its in exactly the same place on the bookshelf as it was when he got it.

Anything else?

Well, you know here and there. We had family simchas and you know, Jewish stuff.

The Rabbi shared with them a story. He said there was a Mexican community when America conquered the north of Mexico. The battle of Custar or whatever it was. Ironically the border landed up cutting one of the cities in half. The city was South of the border, whilst the cemetery was to the north. Eventually, the community had to bury one of their elders. They went across the border and the customs official inspected the funeral procession and he let them through. They buried the elder and the official counted the number of people that went back and everything was OK. The next week somebody else in the community, in this small town in Mexico, another member of the community perished. Of course, the whole funeral procession came through. The next week the same thing. Then the next week, the same thing. The customs official, the border security for the US started to get suspicious. Eventually the border guard, as the procession were going through the gates, said to them halt. They all froze in their steps. He said, I want you to open the coffin. The tears that poured down, the screams and the cries. Excuse me sir, this is one of our beloved members, this is terrible desecration. This is considered, in our community, nothing less than stamping on his grave. This is a catastrophe of unprecedented proportions. You cannot desecrate the memory. And for the family. What an agony you are causing to this family. They will never live this down. You are causing such a catastrophe, this may even spread to war. The official said, be that as it may, open the coffin right now. The screaming and crying was hysterical, it was almost on the verge of violence. Extra security guards may have been called in. Under force of duress the coffin was opened. Sure enough, low and behold, a live man climbed out of the coffin. When they were all arrested and interrogated they asked, how come you insisted on such a thing. For many weeks nobody stopped us, nobody asked any questions. Now, all of a sudden, your asking me such questions. He replied, in America, every cries at a funeral. There isn’t a dry eye in the house. With the Mexicans it was a strange thing. No-one shed any tears. Not a tear in the whole community. Yet, every week somebody’s beloved relative got married. What is this strange tradition? He insisted on finding out. When he asked them to open the coffin, the tears flowed like rivers. That’s when he knew that the community were living a lie and that something was up. Then he knew he was onto something. When they opened it, sure enough they saw what they saw. So, the Rabbi said to the husband and wife, when you first brought the kid back from the hospital, and you gave him a Bris Mila, did you continue with the Yiddishkeit? Did you make sure that you sent him to the fines Jewish schools? Did you make sure you gave him the best Jewish education you could? Did you make sure that you taught him by setting a personal example, what it means to uphold the mitzvos of the Torah? Mezuzos. You had them on the front door. What about the back door? What about every door in the house? It says on the door posts and gates of your dwellings. Every entrance needs a mezuzah and they have to be checked. If they are not checked, HaShomer Dalsos Yisrael might not be there to guard you. As you see right now. And kosher style. You didn’t mix meat and milk. Very good. Its one part of one mitzvah. Did you make sure that every piece of meat and bottle of wine has the finest hechsher? And you had it under the right conditions for chagim and Shabbos? Did you make sure that when he was brought up, you son was able to control his lustings and cravings? If he smelt a treif burger, or a woman who wasn’t of his ways, did his yetzer hora go unbridled? Did he taste forbidden fruits? Did he go after his eyes and his heart, which had no fences? Did he lust after things that were forbidden to him? Did anybody tell him they were forbidden to him? Did anybody ever bother to teach him Torah? The Sifrei kodesh that were on the bookshelf. Did anybody bother on a weekly basis, at least on Shabbos, to sit down with their son to learn the parshas hashavua? To learn some Torah with their children? As Rashi says, a parent who doesn’t teach his child lashon hakodesh and Torah personally murders the child.

So we go forward with the concept of this wayward, rebellious son. The death penalty imposed on the youngster is not because of any sins he has committed until now, but, because of his behaviour it is clear he will develop into a monstrous human being. He is put to death because of his inevitable end, that he will go to the highway as it says in Sanhedrin (8^th Perek, Ben Sore UMore), he will go to the highway. Now he is lusting after meat and wine. A mouthful of meat (tartimar basar) one hamburger patty, and one mouthful of wine (yayin italky) is what brought him to the death sentence. How could such a thing be? At this stage he is lusting after his physical desires. Eventually he will go to the crossroads on the highway and murder to fulfill his lusting desires. Whether it is meat and wine, women or drugs. So ask in our generation, could there possibly be such a person that would murder for their lusting and craving? Do we hear such a thing? Can you imagine such a thing – drug addiction, alcoholism. Is there bloodshed on account of those things? Lets explore.

A wayward and rebellious son, between 12 and 12 ½ before Bar Mitzva. Our Sages say, a person before Bar Mitzva is pure yetzer hora. Unbridled. Like a little boy called out, Abba, Ima, ten li, give me, go to the fridge and give me my meal. So the parents think the kid is hungry. Eventually, the kid starts to believe that the parents are his servants. Or even worse, they are slaves and everything is hefker. So he helps himself to his father’s wallet. He helps himself to whatever he wants in the house, be it meat and wine. And he develops an appetite for things.

There was a true story, a tragedy, of a boy in South Africa. He became addicted to drugs, and eventually, the parent came home one day and the whole house had been cleared out.

The television set, the hi-fi set, everything had been cleared out. Their son stole everything to pay for his addiction. A tragedy of unimagined proportions.

A story from California. 4 boys about bar Mitzva age. One of the boy’s father had escaped from Iran when the Shah of Iran fell and Ayatollah Khomeini came to power. They escaped with billions. Persian rugs, gold, diamonds, they smuggled everything out of the border before the fall of the Shah. They went to California and were billionaires. One son got together with three other boys and they developed a company. Young kids, maybe before bar-mitzva. They called the club the billionaires boys club. The BBC. Not the Bad Boys Club from London. What was the story. The boys got together and decided to kidnap the father and ransom him for his wealth. So they organized it and hired some people. The father was coming out of his office one day. As he was coming out, he was pounced upon by some strong men. They tied him up and gagged him. They put him in a car and drove him out to the Arizona desert, or wherever it was, the California desert and they were going to hide him in a hostage hide away. From where it would be impossible for anybody in the world to find him. They would ransom the father for billions. What happened was, while they were driving in the desert, they went to the truck to see how the father was doing. He had died from the heat. They buried him in the desert. They continued to call for the ransom. The body of the father was never found. These boys were arrested, interrogated and tragedy of tragedies, they did it. Young boys. What should the father have done to his son? What could he have done for the son’s friends. Worth billions. Murdered by his own child. So it says about the ben sore u’more, take him out and put him to death. The most sever death penalty is skila, stoning, the same as for Shabbos. Put him to death while he still has some schar in shomayim, before he goes to the crossroads and becomes a notorious murderer. Al Capone, or any of the other history testifies to, that if their parent didn’t educate them while it was still hopeful. The halocho goes, that the first time the boy is caught at about the age of 12, staling money from his parents, going out by himself, buying meat and wine and feasting on it, if the parents are told by 2 witnesses, they take him to a Beis Din of 3. The Beis Din warn him and give him 39 lashes. The 39 (40 less one) bring him to the brink of death itself. Imagine the lusting of such a little boy that within 6 months, before bar mitzva, despite the warning of Beis Din, that should he ever do it again he will be taken to the Beis Din HaGadol of 71 and if there are legitimate witnesses, he is put to death. In six months he is back at it. Back at his father and mother’s wallet and purse. Stealing a few coins. What does it cost to by a small measure of wine and a 100g patty of meat? It can be bought for under a dollar. For all that he is taken out. Beis Din don’t teach him any more. They take him outside the city and the whole community have to stone this little boy to death. Traditionally he is thrown over a cliff. A big rock is released from the top of the cliff that crushes him into oblivion. The whole community does it. What is the warning?

וּבִעַרְתָּ הָרָע, מִקִּרְבֶּךָ; וְכָל-יִשְׂרָאֵל, יִשְׁמְעוּ וְיִרָאוּ.

You shall remove the evil from your midst. All Israel will hear about it and they will surely fear. When they saw such a thing happen, they would never do such a thing again. A certain Rabbi said lo haya ve lo yiyhe. Rav Shimon says in a beraisa, just because this little boy ate a tartimar of meat and a lug of yayin italki, a particularly seductive and lusting wine, and meat that was only a third cooked, like burglars or robbers would cook it, singed outside and raw inside, that his lustings were starting to reach a peak, his father and mother will take him out to be stoned? No parent could ever do such a thing. How could a parent knowingly take their son to the Beis Din Hagadol after he has been lashed and say to the Beis Din with one voice, our son is a ben sore u’more. So Rav Shimon says, there never was such a thing nor will there ever be such a thing in the future. Why then, was the law of ben sore u’more given in the Torah? Drush umekabel schar. Learn from it and you will receive the reward of the lesson about the evil son. H’ Yerahcem, we should never know of such a thing. Rav Yonasan says, that he not only saw such a case but sat on the grave of such a person. So, Elul Ve’Elu Divrei E-kim Hayim. In the time of Rav Shimon it may have been that he never saw such a boy, and Rav Yehuda claimed it was virtually impossible according to all the specifics, that such a situation could ever happen. Rav Yonasan says he saw such a case. So we all have to tremble. In our generation especially, we need to contemplate the tragedy of what is going on in our generation.

The parsha goes on to say, when you’ve bought a new house, you have to put a fence on your roof, so that people don’t fall from the roof. So that you don’t have the blood on your hands. In every home there has to be a geder, a maakeh. So that everybodu living in the house or every guest does not go over the edge, beyond the gvul and surely perish. This is the hinuch or the henek. A father and mother have the opportunity and capacity to give to their children and children’s cildren. As it says, the sins of the parents will be brought to the children. To the third and the fourth generation. Why does it say to the third and the fourth generation? Because, they all married out. Lishmod, leharog uleabed, these are the warnings of Purim. So we see that in every generation there are those that rise up against us. Only if we cry out to Hakadosh B”H, the Shepherd where all the fences of the farm have fallen down, and all the flocks of sheep are going to foreign pastures to feast on the grass that is greener on the other side, over the green line, the gangrene line, where they eat themselves to death on the aveiros, teivis and kavod, the gaivas, of foreign soil. In Pirkei Avos it says, be very careful of your words. Lest you be driven into exile and your talmidim, your children, the raglayim on which you will stand in heaven where mitzvos or aveiros you have eternal Gan Eden or Gehenom, depending on what his children are doing whenhe leaves this world. That is the ultimate kibbud av ve’em. A father will be sent into exile if he is not careful with his words, shmiras halashon. His disciples, his children will surely follow him into exile, drink from poisonous bitter waters, which is the foreign philosophies and foreign religions. They will marry out of the faith and he will have certainly caused them to perish and that blood is on his hands. We see from this terrifying message the capacity of the parent’s hinuch which has the power to lighten and enlighten the world or delight his children in foreign temptations and therefore to annihilate them. If they had behaved like the other nations of the world, he would have annihilated hi s children.

In Maseches Sanhedrin (70a), Rav Anan says, Lo nivra yayin ba’olam, ele lenichum avelim or liten schar lereshaim ba’olam hazeh. Wine was only created to comfort mourners and to repay the reward of the wicked in this world, rather than the next. How can it be? At a Bris, bar Mitzva, Chuppas, Simchas, every Shabbos, every Chag, ein simchas ella bebasar ve yayin. In temple times, basar veyayin were korbanos brought to H. This could bring enormous happiness. But it is understood on the chagim Ein simcha ela bebasar veyayin. It seems wine has an incredible power to make the heart happy. The we see in Mishle (31, 6) ‘give intoxicating wine to the wicked one’. That is what is written in Kesuvos (8b) that wine is givine to mourners and to repay reshaim in this world. How can it be. Rav Yitzhak said, what does it mean ‘do not look upon wine that is red’? This means a very strong kind of wine that is very tempting according to the Malbim. There is a more homiletic interpretation. Don’t look upon wine the reddens the face of the wicked in this world and whitens the face in the world to come. The latter is when they realized they used up all their good deeds through rewards in this world. The Meharsha teaches, in the end it bites him like a serpent. According to ava, do not look upon wine that is read, means do not look lovingly at the wine, and overindulge. It will lead to the drink of death. Rashi says, it is red and its end is red. Yad Rema explains, a drunkard cannot feel the blows inflicted on him when he is drunk. In the end he gives the death blow. Drunk drivers lose their schar in this world and have to pay for the damage they cause in Olam Haba. The Ben Sore uMore who overindulges leads to his bloodshed as well. The Meharsha notes that alcoholics often get into fights over wine. How can it be that it says, yayin lo le’olam hazeh (ele…). Wine can be used not for this world, but rather when a sandek has wine at a bris, a boy has wine at his bar mitzvah, wine at a chuippa, on Shabbos or Yom Tov, it is not being used for this world. It is used leshem shomayim. That same person wouldn’t touch it during the week, or on an ordinary day. He knows he is using up his schar in the next world. That cos yayin is coming at an infinitely great cost if he uses to fulfil hislusting and craving. When he says how careful the father is, he will learn. Let him do the mitzvos with wine. Then he wouldn’t dream of touching it on a weekday. He is the master of his Taivas. Who is a strong man? Not somebody that has conquered the world. Somebody that has conquered his desires. This is the war that we are fighting in this generation. That has been fought in every generation and that will contionue to be fought in every generation. The only one that will be successful in such a war is one who doesn’t take prisoners, who doesn’t surrender in such a war but is victorious at every turn in the road. He identifies the Yetzer Hora from far away and steers clear of it. He makes sure that the Yetzer Hora never runs to him and even moreso that he doesn’t run to his yetzer hora.

יז זָכוֹר, אֵת אֲשֶׁר-עָשָׂה לְךָ עֲמָלֵק, בַּדֶּרֶךְ, בְּצֵאתְכֶם מִמִּצְרָיִם.

At the end of the parsha, we se the ultimate battle of light against darkness. Remember what Amalek did to you when you were leaving Egypt, that he happened upon you.

יח אֲשֶׁר קָרְךָ בַּדֶּרֶךְ, וַיְזַנֵּב בְּךָ כָּל-הַנֶּחֱשָׁלִים אַחֲרֶיךָ--וְאַתָּה, עָיֵף וְיָגֵעַ; וְלֹא יָרֵא, אֱלֹהִים

He struck those of you who were weak, who were behind. All the weaklings in the rear of the camp. When you were faint and exhausted. Why? Because you did not fear H’.

Who are Amalek in our generation? Sancherib mixed all the boundaries of all the nations. Everything became a cholent. What was Esav may not be Esav today. Edom is documented in the Gemoro. Amalek may not correspond to a name or address. R’Nebensahl says that two middos stick out. On is that Amalek is like a bee who would rather sting and perish than not sting and carry on collecting honey. The bee commits suicide to commit pain amongst am Yisrael. The other is that he makes mekarer, he tries to cool the emuna of the week ones. The exhausted ones. Egypt was considered the iron crucible that crushed anybody that came into it. Russia, the iron curtain, was considered inviolable and impenetrable. Nobody could escape. For 60/70 years they were destroying the remaining nafshei yehudi by the Rasha, Stalin who said that there is no G-d, he is the only god, and that by the might of his hand he went forward. H showed him by forcing them to beg for wheat and by making the iron curtain rust. Am Yisrael go forth. Let my people go so that they might serve me. This is the ultimate reason for Am Yisrael to be let out of the Galus. Send me your tired and weary that I might annihilate them, burn them up. Destroy the one nation, the Am mamleches Cohanim. And shmad the neshama of Am Yisrael. That is to mekarer the Emuna. The ultimate example is the example of the suicide bomber. He is willing to give up his wife, and family, and women too, just to destroy the emuna of others. Ultimately, this is the war of H, that H personally takes. Like Moshe had his hands raised, in the battle against Amalek, when Yehoshua ben Nun was figthting them. He stood still in the field. Every moment that Moshe’s hands were raised to H, am Yisrael was winning. When Moshe Rabbeinu got tired and his hands went down, Amalek was somehow victorious. We see from here that when Moshe is appealing in Shomayim, please H save your Nation, save the generation. H’ examines the generation. There’s a shadow of devastation. The people who aren’t keeping kosher. People that are drinking foreign wines. Eating foreign meat. Without kashrus. Out of their own lustings and cravings. Then there are some marrying the other nations of the world. Then there are kegoyim ba’olam. That they are assimilating and shmad, self destructing. Whhat does moshe Rabbeinu have to appeal to H’ about. His hands go down. He is left speechless. There seems to be nothing to appeal for. But, on the other hand when Am Yisrael’s army returns, when there’s a gal teshuva, a wave of teshuva that is starting to sweep the world. Am Yisrael are coming into Yeshivas, and of their free will, am Yisrael want to keep Torah, Am Yisrael are starting to learn Torah, Am Yisrael are starting to keep the mitzvos, starting to keep kashrus. They are starting to put mezuzos on all their doors. Buying the best of Yiddishkite, the best mezuzas, the best tzitzis, the bbest kashrus that money can buy, and they guard all the mitzvos with all their hearts, all their minds and all their resources, and they start to keep Shabbos, then Moshe Rabbeinu can show that they are starting to go after H’, H’ look at your nation, look at the greatness of this nation, they could be buying anything with their money, they could be doing anything with their time, but they choose to keep Torah and mitzvos. They choose to keep Shabbos. In that generation, Bayom Hahu Yiyhe H Ehad, Ushmo Ehad. Amalek has failed, in his purpose to be a rod that will scold am Yisrael, because there is nothing to scold. Am Yisrael have done the Teshuva. That is invertible. We have reached that time that the little goat that Am Yisrael bought for 2 zuzim, the was killed by the cat, that was bitten by the dog, hit by the stick, that was burnt by the fire, that was put out by the water that was drunk by the bull that was shechted by the shochet, that was put to death by the angel of death, that is, if you look very carefully into the Hagada, the Lehman hagada, world history in a nutshell. That whole had gad yah is all the chapters of world history, of Am Yisrael. The cat represents Egypt, the stick represents Amalek, the fire represents the Cauldrons of Europe, every one of those things. The bull represents Spain and all other times when the bull has plowed Am Yisrael. The Angel of Death represents the Angel of Death when he is no longer needed, because Am Yisrael have tshuva gamur.

Bayom Hahu Yiyhe H Ehad Ushmo Ehad. When Am Yisrael recognize the name of H’ and the Torah of H as one, when we become Lev Ehad VeGuf Ehad, as we did for that fleeting moment at har Sinai, the Chuppa of H’. When we do Tshuva gamur, the nations of the world will say what a wise and great nation, lets follow their ways. And there will be 40 goyim guarding each of the 4 corners, each of our tzitzis, so they will guard in every direction we go and beat us if we don’t follow Torah. They will reward us tremendously with praise, when we do follow Torah. They will some to Israel, they will know that we are Am Mamleches Cohanim, then Am Yisrael will be known as H’s nation, H’s name is in Am Yisrael. We will keep the Torah of Israel and the Shabbos of Israel, Tehiyas Hamesim, Moshe Rabbeinu, Aharon hakohen, will serve H at the Beis Hamikdash, on Har Habayis, Ki Mitzion Tetzei Torah, Udvar H MiYerushalayim. The whole world will look to Yerushalayim for the Yerusha that will be Shalem, Bimheira Veyameiu.

Good Shabbos Le Kulam uLe Kol Am Yisrael